Long Haul

Fighting cancer day by day. Fighting cancer the long way day by day. My head is sore from lying on the pillow. No energy and fear of walking and falling finding solutions so no fear for me.

Admitted to two hospitals, and took two separate rides with completely different vibes on two ambulances.

I am still alive. Started to compare my visits and care. Not a good idea when your unwell. I am still alive. Fighting cancer day by day. The long haul. Knowing and thankful for the help and kindness I have received. Day by Day.

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Wow is Life Changing Quickly?

#1: Real or Fake? I have written a political manifesto.  It came on me slowly.  What is real or fake news? I feel helpless, and no matter what I do I am not being able to control anything?  I am having a crisis of conscience.  I have had to seclude myself from the news.  So that I can clean my thoughts of fear, and anger that is bigger the me.   

#2: My Oncologist is doing a great job keeping me alive.  I have two weeks per month where I feel strong.  I have not felt this way in many years.  Then the symptoms have returned, cancer or side effects?  What happens to me; my lumbr vertebrae two goes numb with a feeling of pins and needles down to my knees. Emergency, I look for a landing pad becase after the nerve pain down my lower limbs My lower legs turn into rubber, and I crash. Holy Cow!

#:3 Change: No one likes change. Change is inevitable, to keep my sanity I will turn off the news, and pray everyone gets along. Also, I will prepare a bag in case I have to go to the hospital, pull my self togeather and stop blubbering about other people problems. Than I will pull all my energy and maefest it in my my novel “The Cat’s Lair.”

I feel like life is taking me on a rollercoaster ride. I will smile and enjoy the journey.

PEACE

Testing

Fighting cancer means a never ending series of tests. This week’s job is to endure brain testing. Saturday morning I had a brain MRI. Which is not painful, but I had contrast shot into my arm that had unpleasant side effects. The next test. Yesterday I had a lumbar puncture. Than tomorrow I am fortunate to have Chemo, and the results of the tests. It is a busy week. I am fortunate I did not contract. Small cell lung cancer a few years ago. It would have been a quick death sentence

I want to thank big Pharma for making the drugs to keep me alive and my doctor and his staff, the excellent Lumbar puncture Dr. She is amazing, and has a nurse that took care of me. She has a thick southern accent and made me laugh. I know I sound over the moon, but with all the sadness of the last few weeks with a man who was unjustly killed. My problems seem small in comparison. God bless America!

Normal

Trying hard to live a normal life. What is normal anyway? Now that COVID-19 has closed America down. Looking back at all the good friends and interesting 😁 life experiences. I have lived. I talk to myself. “It’s ok to have a new normal just make sure you keep making memories.” We will survive this deadly virus. True American are made of strong stock. Change is never easy. Look at this ime in history as a time to heal as individuals, and come togeather as people helping those around you in need. God Bless America, PEACE

Changes

Living life with a life threatening disease feels like your engaged in a battle. In my minds eye I can see the enemy. The enemy are round cells that group together like dead grapes. Before I receive the test result with the bad news. I never think about the cells in my body. Never, and than I go about my business.

Lets name the strategies to win the battle necessary to beat the cancer cells into oblivion. Nuke them with RADIATION, remove them with SURGERY, just take a PILL or poison them with CHEMOTHERAPY. To name the most common medical procedures.

My personal favorite way to kill the enemy is PRAYER. Always, and then I go about my business.

It has been a bittersweet week. The best news is the birth of Luke and Willow. Hurray. The bad news is Bob had surgery to remove Cancerous lymph nodes in his face. Janet was hospitalized with PNEUMONIA. Bubba a kind and sweet soul passed away from a massive heart attack. I mourn his loss from the bottom of my heart.

Change happens every day, the consequences we label bad or we label good. After all the bad that happened this week I find it hard to digest bad news I received from my MRI result? I am praying for my friends and family. I guess adding myself to the prayer list is my only recourse because tears do not CHANGE anything.

PEACE