Challenge Yourself

    I am participating in a 10,000 word writing challenge, and I am behind.  Last week I could not concentrate, and I felt sick.  I stayed in bed.  So, this is where the challenge comes in.  My particular certifiable disability has changed the way my motor skills and brain works.  

    It is hard to describe how my motor skills and  brain has changed since I was diagnosed with lung cancer that metastizeed down the vertebre of my spin, but I wil try.  .  The cancer literally crushed…fractured 7 verebreas, and recently metastized down my right hip and femer.  The nerve damage is significant and causes me alot of pain.  I have lost the ability to open my right hand.  I type with one finger.  Second the nerve damage in my neck has changed the way I can prosses information.  It feels like I have both a dominant right lobe and a dominant left lobe. Wierd…I know.  so I can only type with one finger on the right hand or one finger on the left hand.  When I try to type normally, or in my case two fingers typing in harmony I go crosseyed.  I am workng hard to overcome these disabilities.  That brings me to the 10,000 word writing challenge.

    I still have a few day’s left to complete the challenge before me.  The good news is I know writing is not about word count, but the quality of expression.  I will never be an Edger Allen Poe.  I write because I have too one finger and one brain lobe at a time,  Please be kind.  Peace!


Health Insurance

Open enrollment for Health insurance is upon us. It is particularly stressful for me, trying to find an affordable health insurance plan that covers all of my cancer perscriptions. I am on day two of searching for the elixar’s of life Ouch! So, the search is still on, and I pray that a door will open for me to find an insurance company that lives up to their slogan “We are her to help you stay healthy, as for me…stay alive. Peace


    2017-08-11-17-36-10-636     Empathy means the ability to understand the feelings of others.

   Every time a medical procedure is scheduled I become anxious and I feel sad.  In order not to let these crazy emotions run my life I turn to my husband, and my Mother.  They are my rocks.  Everyone should pick a person or person’s to be their emergency contact.

My Father was included in the small circle of the Family members I could depend on, but he passed away last December from pancreatic cancer.  Although, he is not here in the flesh he is with me in spirit.  I can hear his voice in my mind, and his scent remains on a hat that I inherited.  Yet the reality is sad, his passing made it necessary to remove him from my medical legal documents.

Decisions concerning life and death may be the most important decisions of our lives.  These matters are easier to make when you have people you trust help guide you.  Pre-Planning before a medical emergency can save families time, money and ensure a persons medical wishes are adhered to.   Yet, estate planning documents are the paper trail of life, and when changes are made old documents should be shredded.    Does not take away the important parts of life…why we want to stay…not for the distribution of assets…for the ones we love.

Life is complicated,  and we are not our social security number.  We are human, life is not a game., and having an illness and everything that goes with it is a full-time job.  Surrounding ourselves with our family and friends makes living through uncomfortable situations  bearable.  Like a kiss on the cheek from a loved one before an MRI or a brush on the hand while being wheeled back to the examination room.

How would you feel, and what would make you happy if the tables were turned?




    All I want to do is to “TURN THE PAGE.”  Wake up one day Cancer Free!  I have always loved fairy tales.  I feel thankful and know I won the lottery,  because I am alive!  Today I am sad, Cancer took another wonderful soul.  That makes three incredible people in less than a year.  Time to mourn!  I know that  tommarrow is a new day, and life goes on , but our dear and departed never leave us.  Never!  They help guide us through the quagmire of life.  It’s up’s and downs.  We live to make them proud of us for enduring the sorrow of their passing.  God bless!




Stage 4 Living Life to the Fullest With Terminal Cancer

Pain is subjective.  Everyone has their own pain threshold.  The medical community gauges a patient’s pain level between one through ten.  One being the least to ten the worst amount of pain.

If you have never experienced chronic pain, it is hard to comprehend how it feels? I experienced sleepless nights where finding a comfortable position was impossible., simple acts we take for granted like walking…breathing…become arduous tasks.       Chronic pain is no joke?

What happens before you are a “patient” In “chronic pain?”  Living without access to prescription pain medications.  It isn’t pretty!  Living becomes and exercise in control.  Trying anything “legal” to help make it through the seconds, minutes and hours of the day.  In a nut shell “Getting through the day becomes a frantic search for help?”   Unfortunately, in most cases it takes Doctors time and a lot of testing to find out what is wrong, and put a label on the cause of the pain?  So that medication can be prescribed.  For me it took four long months to be diagnosed with lung cancer.

I will never forget what I call the “c-battle.”   Living with active cancer cells wreaking havoc in my body.   Causing destruction and irrevocable damage to my body, and without treatment the awful cancer cells grew strong and metastases down the vertebrae of my neck and spine.  Fracturing seven vertebrae, and killing nerves along its path of destruction.  All the while I begged my primary care physician for an MRI, and was told “your insurance will not cover it.”

So, I have put together a list of do’s and don’ts from mistakes I made, and helpful tips on how to navigate the quagmire of red tape patients face within the medical industry.

I am writing this book to help me come to grips with my disease…as well as giving others who face a similar fate…who struggle like me everyday… inspiration on how to live life to the fullest with cancer.


Yesterday, my sister Martha and her husband Eric took me antique shopping. I was having fun, but as time went by I began to melt. Walking became a chore, and I became dehydrated. It got so bad I thought I might faint. I was lucky a nice sales lady took care of me. Thank you “Hudson House Galleries” in Funkstown, MD, for giving me a bottle of water and a comfy chair to sit on as I regained my strength. They are mastercraftsman at antiqe resoration, and a go-to shop for interior designer’s. I am not use to small town kindness. One thing I know is I like it. I take alot of medication and live in fear I may get sick…fall etc., when I am out. I am lucky I have wonderful friends and family to take me where I need to go.

Link to Hudson House Gallery, Inc.

1 S High Street, Funkstown MD. 21734

“Morning in Keedysville”

I woke up to the sounds of crickets churping, and the thermomstat showing sixty degrees.   It is a beautiful morning in the mountains of Maryland.
My morning was interrupted, and I cannot shake the bad feeling in the pit of my stomack? Sitting down with my first cup of coffee I turned on Fox news. It seems the madness of North Koreans leader has jeaperdized world peace. Not that the World is at peace! This threat is directed at the USA. North Korean leader is threatening to set off a nuclear bomb, Quam in particular. I am not one to speak openly about my political views. Yet, humanity cannot afford to turn a blind eye to this threat. Has the world forgotten what happened to the peope of Japan? The ATOM bomb takes no prisoners. The world cannot afford another crazy zeolot leader like Adolf Hitler? I pray for a swift solution. Is’nt that what we train teams of warriors for?
The sun has dried the morning dew,as my Mother and I wait for my sister to arrive, we are planning on hitting a few Antique stores. Hoping when we get home the evening news will have good news to report. That the story we heard this morning was a ploy to boost ratings?

Give Yourself Permission to Rest

It has been a long time since my last post.  I have been fighting battles, which has left me spent and unable to express myself.  The last two weeks especially.  I have been receiving radiation treatments and last Wednesday a bone biopsy.  I hope to be back in full swing soon.  Peace!
2017-08-03-15-51-22 Mary Wig

Bucket List



As I lie in a hospital bed, with a major illness, I thought about my life. I tried to convince myself that I had no regrets, but that would be a lie. I had regrets. I knew it was time to make amends for some of the wrongs I had made to people I cared about.
It is not healthy to hold grudges. Every person makes mistakes. Including myself, and if I was going to die I needed to find closure. Peace of mind. So, from the great movie “Bucket List”,  not of dreams of things I want to do, but instead a list of regrets that needed fixing.

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